Still feeling sick - WARNING MAY BE DISTRESSING FOR SOME READERS

Reg Brumbys · Post by **Reg Brumbys** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:47 am

Taking a day off today trying to get a terrible picture out of my head - ain't working real well.

I work as a property manager and we had some concerns about a bloke who had got behind with his rent - nice bloke, never had any dramas so on . We couldn't get a hold of him, so on friday we called his sister to see if she could get in touch with him for us - just left her a detailed voice message. Yesterday morning she called the office worried out of her head as she had not heard from her brother either and he had not turned up to a BBQ the weekend before hand - she begged me to go over to his house and have a look around/. I told her I couldn't go in without giving notice and said that she could call the police for a welfare visit - she said she'd already done that last week. You could hear the worry in her voice. I went for a drive over, everything was locked up, blinds shut - looked like no-one was home - there was a card in the door from the local police asking him to call his sister. I knew something was up as soon as I walked up to the front door - there was a smell like nothing I'd smelt before and the sound of flies - the electricity was off and I hoped it was just a fridge full of off food. The sister had asked me to call her as soon as I got back, and now I was worried, I didn't have the keys so I went down the road and grabbed them of the sales person who was selling the house. I asked when the last time he'd been to the place was, he said about 2 weeks. I was prepping myself for what I could find there as I put keys into the front door. The small smashed me in the face as I opened the door. The first door on the left was the bedroom, bed made, neat and tidy, ext door was the garage - I opened the door and the smell went up about 20 fold - no sooner had I opened up there was a black ooze all over the floor and in the corner of my eye hanging from the ceiling was a body, all black. there were marks on the wall where he must of thrashed around as he choked - I couldn't help but to look and try to process what I was seeing. I closed the door and walked back out of the house. I called the number on the card and let the police know what I had found, they said they would tee up the ambos I advised not required - they came anyway. I sat at the front of the house with the smell burning in my nose - the police arrived and for a second the smell of the burning breaks took the other smell away. The detectives come and a few others. All I could think of was his sister and how worried she was about him. I said they need to get in touch with the family and this sister asap. About an our and a half later I hopped back into the ute headed back to the office, the sister had called for me no less than 7 times while I was out. IT's an image that I won't forget, and the more I try not to think about it, the more I see it - I'm hoping this will help. As for the smell, I can still smell it with every change of smell I encounter for the first 5 seconds. candles burning, eucalyptus under the nose. The police called last night to say they'd located the sister and broken the news to her. While all indicators lead to it being the guy who lived there, they would still need to do a DNA test to confirm ID.

I'll certainly be giving the counceling service a call that work provided, just to talk it over and help get it out of my head sooner.

Lads, seek help when you need it, if you see a mate acting strange, talk to him.

Tigger · Post by **Tigger** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:38 pm

Oh mate, that is really not good... Maybe you should go and talk to someone about it and they might be able to help you out... Perhaps the police can point you in the right direction of someone to speak to, I am sure that they deal with this sort of thing all the time...

I am confused as to why the sister couldn't go over and check out the house herself... You as the property manager shouldn't ever have to go through something like that...

It's true, depression is a nasty, nasty thing... If someone close to you has changes in their behaviour, don't ignore them or fobb them off because they are being weird, just talk to them, it could save their life! The problem with depression is that there is no clear symptom of it, people portray their feelings in many different ways...

subybrumby · Post by **subybrumby** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:04 pm

G'day mate. No its not nice. I was in the Qld Police Force for 15 years and got out of it at Longreach as one of the Sergeants there and went into private business. What you have seen is a side of the job that most public do not see and I can tell that you are quite distressed about it. It was not uncommon for police to have a little fire going in their backyard to burn their uniforms after such encounters.

I am going to send you my mobile and home phone number by private message and if you want to have a yarn, that's fine. I would be quite happy to come to Brisbane sometime and meet you if you want to talk about it. I know its an experience that you will never forget but time does help. Cheers mate and don't hesitate to call me if I can help..

Regard ...Trevor

YouTube · Post by **El_Freddo** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:17 pm

That's no good mate. Hope you get yourself checked in to see someone. No one should have to go through that.

Take care of yourself and all the best.

Bennie

rtcb65 · Post by **rtcb65** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:48 pm

subybrumby wrote:G'day mate. No its not nice. I was in the Qld Police Force for 15 years and got out of it at Longreach as one of the Sergeants there and went into private business. What you have seen is a side of the job that most public do not see and I can tell that you are quite distressed about it. It was not uncommon for police to have a little fire going in their backyard to burn their uniforms after such encounters.

I am going to send you my mobile and home phone number by private message and if you want to have a yarn, that's fine. I would be quite happy to come to Brisbane sometime and meet you if you want to talk about it. I know its an experience that you will never forget but time does help. Cheers mate and don't hesitate to call me if I can help..

Regard ...Trevor

Hey Reg,

If i were you , i would take Trevor up on the offer. You need to talk to someone about it. And there is no one better than someone who has been through it. Someone who hasnt been through it can never really understand it. I have had someone with in a couple of breathes of dieing in my arms and i would not be able to come close to understanding what happened to you.
Mate , what ever you do , dont bottle it up.
Best of luck buddy.

Post by **Captain Obvious** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:18 pm

well that was rough but as rick said dont bottle it up, and i guess posting here was a start, i cant relate to what happend to you at all so im no help, but sometimes talking about things will help alot!!!

chin up mate!!

bryan

AlpineRaven · Post by **AlpineRaven** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:22 pm

Mate, you did the right thing coming here to talk about it, its not nice thing to see, I've been thru similar situation and I know it is not nice to deal with, for me I am very easy to "forget" about and move on, some people can't. I would strongly advise to see Trevor and discuss about it with Police, they're really nice people and its their jobs to look after people. Possible talk to your GP and give you right direction.
Good Luck mate...
Cheers
AP

Mini_Me · Post by **Mini_Me** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:31 pm

I've never been through it myself, but it must be hard TRYING so hard 2 get rid of that terrible image.
I nearly lost a friend of mine a few years ago 2 suicide, it really makes u stop and think about everything. and, as everyone else has said, one good way of dealing with it is talking.

steptoe · Post by **steptoe** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:50 pm

First off, pat yourself on the back for responding to the sisters pleas. She was obviously too far away to do it herself or worried what she might find.

When you seek help for your experience, if you are not given notes ask for them so you can read through and evaluate the advice as time goes on, instead of trying to remember discussions.

riksta · Post by **riksta** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:24 pm

Mate....I feel for you. I can not begin to know how you are feeling right now.

I had somthing like that happen to me some years ago, but I got there in time to stop things going that far, I wont say any more as you dont wont to hear about bad things.

You have come to the right place mate to talk about it, and as everyone has said you do need to talk about it and we are all here for you.

If you have not done so allready I think you should take up Trevors offer, and you can allways talk on here when ever you like, seems like there will be some that will listen.

All the best mate....
Cheers
Rik.

rtcb65 · Post by **rtcb65** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:39 am

Hey Reg,

How are you going . I hope things are getting better for you. Dont forget, if they arent , there are people here that will listen and help if they can.

Best of luck and hope things are better.

Rick

Reg Brumbys · Post by **Reg Brumbys** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:03 am

Thanks Rick & Trevor, and thanks to everyone else as well.

I really noticed how much better I felt after typing up what had happened - I really hadn't gone into any detail about it with any one until then.

I just wanted to say thanks for the emails, PM's and offers of support. I'm dealing with it well - I had a good talk with my wifes uncle who's a detective about it. The summary was, you saw it, you need to deal with it, by talking about it and how you feel about it - do not try to burry it as it will fester. The flash backs will become less over time (which is already very much the case) and you'll never forget it, but you've dealt with it. First instinct was to try to burry it but I'm very glad I did not.

Thanks again to everyone for their support and advise - very much appreciated.

Reggae.

rtcb65 · Post by **rtcb65** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:13 am

Good to hear things are getting better for you. Even if it is slow to happen , it is still happening. Also good to hear you didnt bottle it up , if you did , it would have eaten you up...

last but not the least, you and your subie are still out there showing the other makes of cars how good the subie and there owners are;. lol..

cruzingbrumby · Post by **cruzingbrumby** » Fri Mar 13, 2009 9:14 pm

My heart goes out to you mate, I found my son floating in the pool 4 weeks ago, and could not revive him so I have have the same thing with that picture of what i was seeing finally clicking, it will never leave me.

You definately need to talk to people about it there is no way you can deal with this stuff by yourself

aware · Post by **aware** » Fri Mar 13, 2009 9:25 pm

Reg Brumbys: Hope you are recovering well, not an easy thing to see and deal with.

cruzingbrumby: Mate, my condolences. Also not an easy task, and I hope you and your family can deal with this. My heart goes out to both of you, (although I have never been in this situation) I can imagine what you are both going through at this point in time.

steptoe · Post by **steptoe** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:48 am

Adam , heartfelt sympathies for your loss - you sort of caught me by your news there.

I am sure that if it would help, the AUsubaru members would not mind if you posted up a photo somewhere in memory of your little fella.

Jonno

AlpineRaven · Post by **AlpineRaven** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:07 pm

Glad you're okay and getting there..
Cheers
AP