Anyone for cricket

olddog642 · Post by **olddog642** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:07 am

What is the main function of the Australian coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the Australian team? The woman who ironed the cricket whites.

What's the Australian version of LBW? Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Where do Australian batsmen play their best cricket?
In advertisements.

Why don’t Australian fielders need travel injections?
Because they never catch anything.

Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
Because they can’t spell beer.

The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricketers for a meeting. They want to know how they went downhill so fast.

What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director? A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.

Why did the Aussie break his leg throwing a ball? He forgot it was chained to his foot.

What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a formula one car? Nothing. If you blink you'll miss them both.

What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet? The entire Australian innings.

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ? A vacant lot.

What’s the height of optimism ? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen

I hope you all had a good laugh
Hylton:twisted:
ps I don't like cricket the ball hurts

1111giles · Post by **1111giles** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:29 am

Very funny ! It's only a game though !:mrgreen:

steptoe · Post by **steptoe** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:21 am

Don't laugh Giles, or we will send some of our footy players over , then you may need to restrain your daughter.

steptoe · Post by **steptoe** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:25 am

And while there is some UK humour involved.

Two Irishmen (OK, OK, locally they are not part of UK, but from way over here they are) Mick and Paddy built a bridge across the Nullabor. It had to be pulled down due to too many Aussies trying to fish from it

this is a joke an irishman used to tell while he was inundated by our irish jokes

Post by **Alex** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:40 am

wanka

Silverbullet · Post by **Silverbullet** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:03 am

Haha some of those are like christmas cracker jokes

Post by **Alex** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:23 am

EDIT: tempted to edit first post to remove un-okkaness.

steptoe · Post by **steptoe** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:58 am

Part of us being able to laugh at ourselves as Aussies. Have to admit cricket is not a big thing in my life. Was sitting next to Tubby and his missus and daughter years back and only dawned on me when someone pointed the fact out to me. Just enough to se the humour above though