warning-shopping trolleys and speed bumps dont mix

vidler · Post by **vidler** » Sat May 13, 2006 6:50 pm

as the title describes, i have discovered that shopping trolleys and speed bumps on a hill dont mix very nicely at all.

how did i find this out??? you all ask...

me being me and a bit (by a bit i mean alot) of a dick, finished the weekly shop at our local woolies and returning to the car, i decided to invent a quicker means of transport to get there. I figured, why should i push the trolly when i can ride it??? similar theory to pushing a bike WTF???

so heres me in my pluggers applying medium brakes wearing my shorts, approaching the speed bump with some decent momentum, thinking "ill be right, theres heaps of weight in the front of the trolley."

it wasnt the case though... hit the speed bump, launched the front of the trolly up, flung out half the shopping in a catapault action even the medievil folk woul be impressed with, and landed with a nice big thud on all 4rs on the tarmac...

so the shopping was everywhere, i'd lost a few layers of bark off my knee's and my mrs didnt want to know me... she somehow doesnt see the funny side... oh well

So the moral of this story... dont go speeding down hills on full shopping trollys and try lining up a speed bump... you'll come off 2nd best.

Who else has done some stupid shit and payed for it in personal injury???

stinky · Post by **stinky** » Sat May 13, 2006 6:58 pm

I was riding a shopping trolley once and banged my knee against the trolley, somehow this caused it to dislocate and I ended up on my arse with my kneecap on the side of my knee, i.e. rotated 90 degrees to the outside of my leg.

Riding shopping trolleys is dangerous business!

vidler · Post by **vidler** » Sat May 13, 2006 7:21 pm

we should start a national poll to get all supermarkets to put warning signs on their trollys

WARNING! DO NOT RIDE THIS TROLLY, CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY...OR HEAD CANCER

tim_81coupe · Post by **tim_81coupe** » Sat May 13, 2006 7:25 pm

I watched the early CKY videos when I was a teenager... needless to say I've been in a similar situation to Jay, just instead of shopping in the cart it was me.
I've also come off a pallet jack that I was riding. At lunch time one day at my former place of work myself and a colleague thought it would be a good idea to see what speed we could get to, with her driving the trayback ute and me skitching on the back. I forget what speed we got to, but I leaned a little and the corner of the jack hit the ground. Not expecting it I was flung, I missed the jack and the ute but my hands received the 6 grit sanding treatment only tarmac can provide.
I've also come off a mates push bike after doing a ridiculous speed down a hill (~55kmh!!) and applying only the front brake AND not pushing my weight back on the bike! Hydraulic disc brakes work good!

And finally, two weeks ago when I went for a blade down to the shops (yes, I rollerblade sometimes), I came off a kerb badly and was forced into the splits. Only hurt for a short while, but my pants were destroyed.

Sorry to hear Caitlin can't see the funny side Jay. I could see you doing it and pissing yourself almost straight away!

SuBaRiNo · Post by **SuBaRiNo** » Sat May 13, 2006 8:55 pm

AHAHA Jay... Caity and yourself have to be the funniest couple i know. You both do things that i never even think of.... but somehow you guys do it. Bloody classic... i hope u got some video footage... or at very least some photos.

Dave

BaronVonChickenPants · Post by **BaronVonChickenPants** » Sat May 13, 2006 10:29 pm

I have had many near misses involving a shopping trolley and a random act of stupidity, so far no injuries.....so far....

My notable mentions so far include a skip/dance/silly walk down a driveway, I swung my leg out and clipped a fence paling with my little toe, breaking it in 2 places, yes thats right, there is enough little toe to break it in TWO places 8O

And being attacked by a shark in a swimming pool 400Km from any body of water connected to the ocean. It was one of those little plastic sharks from macca's, was swimming along, dived a little deeper and ran into this shark on the bottom of the pool, resulting in a 1 inch cut on my forehead and a concussion.

And I ran out of water at the beach, was standing in about 3-4 feet of water and went to dive under an approaching wave, now while I was in the air the approaching wave sucked up all but 4 inches of water, I can tell you now that is not enough water to dive under, again leaving me with a concusion and a graze covering my entire forehead, filled with sand of course.

Jordan.

AndrewT · Post by **AndrewT** » Sun May 14, 2006 12:47 pm

bahaha good stories all round

Tim that has to be the quote of the year.... "...my pants were destoyed..."

chubby37 · Post by **chubby37** » Sun May 14, 2006 1:06 pm

reading this had me in tears....i have not laughted so much in a while....you guys are nuts....OZY WILDBOYS........

....keep up the good work

the only really stupid thing i have done (well this year anyway) was when i was converting my wagon to awd...i had the box on it,s end on the bench(waiste hight) and needed it on the ground....no one was home so i figured i,ll just lift it off...that was my first misstake..as i picks it up i thought to myself....self this is freaking heavy...i went to adjust my grip but lent back to far and stumbled...not so bad but i was on an uphill slope...i did the silly walk...the old ..i got it,oh no i dont...yep i,m fine...oh crap and with that my right leg decided it was time to leave and me and the gearbox went down in a screaming heep.i still had hold of the box (strange how you never let go but just think.....i,m going to die).my right hand was over the end of the box were the d/shaft goes in...as i fell back the box proceeded to mass my hand into the ground miss the concrete by about an inch......end result...broken hand and lots of cut from my hip to my right hand....i now wait and get help to lift stuff

vidler · Post by **vidler** » Sun May 14, 2006 2:40 pm

I could see you doing it and pissing yourself almost straight away!

that is exactly what i did... took me a good 5 mins to stop laughing

unfortunately no videos, will have to re-enact for the camera, should take out 1st prize on funniest home video's

glad to hear im not the only idiot who enjoys embarrasing themselves and the people their with

chubby37 · Post by **chubby37** » Sun May 14, 2006 3:31 pm

i have been told that from now on when my girlfriend goes out the kids are to stay home and babysit me so i dont kill myself....the look on her face when she got home and i,m covered in blood and a hand the size of a football. 8O ....priceless

tim_81coupe · Post by **tim_81coupe** » Sun May 14, 2006 3:41 pm

This is the funniest thread I've read in quite some time. Keep them coming

PeeJay · Post by **PeeJay** » Sun May 14, 2006 3:45 pm

Yeah, I've done the crazy mountian bike thing as well. Coming down a hill (Old Bathurst Rd, Blaxland) at around 62km/h and overtook my friend who was in front of me. Then I realised I had to slow down to go around the hairpin bend... Last I saw of my speedo before I hit the armco railing head on it said 45. I would have been fine except there was a piece of plastic sticking up which sliced my neck. Ended up with 7 stitches.

vidler · Post by **vidler** » Sun May 14, 2006 7:24 pm

heres a pic of my knee... made it small so it isnt toooooo detailed

fortunately thats all i came out with except bruising caity's ego

coupe · Post by **coupe** » Sun May 14, 2006 9:20 pm

Well Jay you just have to tell your non subi mates you tackled a mountian lion or a quoka did a number on your leg..
I did a number on my left leg earlier this year .
I made a portable folding clothes line for the boss then went to step over the support bar, missed caught my ankle then fell over the bar proceeding to remove 2 layers of skin the size of a cricket shin guard on the sand covered concrete.
It looked like someone had taken to my leg with a belt sander.
So buddy i feel your pain bro.
Cheers Pete

subanator · Post by **subanator** » Mon May 15, 2006 12:01 am

SuBaRiNo wrote:AHAHA Jay... Caity and yourself have to be the funniest couple i know. You both do things that i never even think of.... but somehow you guys do it. Bloody classic... i hope u got some video footage... or at very least some photos.
Dave

Yeah Jay, do your best Johnny Knocksville impersonation for the next Jackass movie when you do it

Actually this (stupid shopping trolley stories) reminded me of my mate who shunted a shopping trolley with the bullbar of a Troopie, the trolley went flying, but unexpectedly kept going out of the carpark and onto the road. Lucky it was at the end of late night trading and hit no one.

tim_81coupe · Post by **tim_81coupe** » Mon May 15, 2006 12:35 am

subanator wrote:
Actually this (stupid shopping trolley stories) reminded me of my mate who shunted a shopping trolley with the bullbar of a Troopie, the trolley went flying, but unexpectedly kept going out of the carpark and onto the road. Lucky it was at the end of late night trading and hit no one.

I did that one night, in the first week of owning my wagon. However the trolley turned on its side and a shower of sparks shot up!

Jays_Caity · Post by **Jays_Caity** » Mon May 15, 2006 2:47 pm

Well put it this way.....

You've just finished your weekly shopping (which is already tedious enough) when you're walking back to your carpark and your boyfriend (we'll call him Mr Invincible for now) decides that he's going to ride the shopping trolley to the car, apparently to get there quicker but I have a feeling he was trying to show off to the young chicky babes that were looking for a parking spot.

So anyway you're casually walking towards the car and notice that Mr Invincible is coming up to a speed bump, you start saying in your mind "You won't make it. Don't even think about it. i know you're trying to get air, but you're gonna stack it." Meanwhile there is an old lady putting shopping in her car giving Mr Invincible dirty looks and just proving to the old people that all us young'uns are larrikins and then

BANG!! Mr not so Invincible has stacked it

(proving my theory that women are always right)
The shopping has gone all over the carpark, there are cars having to drive around us because Mr Invincible has taken up half the road with his crazy antics and the little old lady has a quiet smirk to herself and continues to put the shopping in her car.

Meanwhile Mr not so Invincible is not only pissing himself laughing but his leg is also pissing itself with blood and I'm forced to put the shopping in the car by myself because he can't see due to the tears that are now streaming down his face (because of the laughter, not because he's a wimp)

When we get home Mr not so Invincible decides that he's not going to put a bandaid on his leg because...wait for it, it's a good one.... it'll hurt when he takes the bandaid off because it might rip out a little hair. OH DEEEEYA!!!!! So he proceeds to put an old sock around his knee. (ewwww)
He takes the old sock off his knee on Saturday and because he didn't put a bandaid on it, the sock got stuck to his cut and probably hurt more than what a little hair would have. Stupid idiot!

Bruised ego's aside, i still love 'im although I'll probably be going to do the food shopping by myself from now on.

tim_81coupe · Post by **tim_81coupe** » Mon May 15, 2006 6:32 pm

You made me cry Caitlin!!

vidler · Post by **vidler** » Mon May 15, 2006 7:07 pm

I DENY RESPONSIBILTY OF ALL ACTIONS AND EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE ON SATURDAY THE 13TH MAY 2006

IT WASNT ME

i did think of another stupid thing ive done which involves water (or lack of it) and waves... a few summers ago when i was learning to satnd up (on a surfboard) i just had an alright ride on a wave so i was quite pleased with myself. so much so i decided to do a back flip off my board... now picture me, a 6 foot 4 bloke who cant sit cross legged on the floor coz he's not flexible enough, trying to do a backflip...

you guessed it... didint happen. i think i got about half way round without realising i was above a sand bank that wasnt too deep. i put my hands out infront of me but i stll whacked my head and jarred my neck... didnt result in concussion or anyhting but still f#$%en hurt. so i stood up in the water and gave my neck a bit of a bend and stuff to make sure i hadn't broken it (i think i was only 6 foot 3 by then). Then i felt my middle finger hurting... had a quick look at it to find it was dislocated at the middle knuckle and off at about 45 degrees trying to kiss my little finger... ouch...

waited for the next wave then ducked under and popped it back in... its still twice the size as normal and clicks when i bend it...

coupe · Post by **coupe** » Mon May 15, 2006 11:40 pm

Go Mr Invincible up up and away......

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warning-shopping trolleys and speed bumps dont mix

warning-shopping trolleys and speed bumps dont mix

ouch

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