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I found a few of mine, and would have liked to attend the parent teacher nights to defend myself...

1D

"Steptoe (age 6 & 3 months) does not always give of his best and has a tendency to give up when the work is a little challenging or harder. I hope as he matures he will overcome this"

1K

"Steptoe (aged 6 & 8 mths) is a willing worker, but his written expression is a little disappointing bcause his oral expression is so good"

I tore up my highschool reports so can't pick those.

WTF do they get these comments from ? A lucky dip of 150, or smaller number and some kids get the same, just spread about between non friend groups so parents don't notice !

The first report, her handwriting a little tricky to read. As for the second teacher, she spaced every word 10 to 12 mm apart to limit the words, and left the last line empty.

One of these took it upon herself to slap my arse just as hard as my mates arse - he painted a girls paint smock - I only used water !

Then there was the day I must have been caught out chatting ..."Cough, h,hmm..Steptoe, how do you say this word , says she pointing to the word "put".

Guess the car thing was already well set , for my reply was "putt"

Anyone else got any treasures ??

My kinder teacher used to threaten to put firecrackers under my seat because I daydreamed a lot

I found out a long time ago most teachers have a "bank" of comments for report time.

I still have mine somewhere from when I was teaching ESL in Singapore

this site below even has rubrics on the use of comments

http://k6educators.about.com/od/Grading ... achers.htm

I found this old list of supposed comment from teachers:

Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

I would not allow this student to breed.

Your child has delusions of adequacy.

Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

This child has been working with glue too much.

When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week

It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

I do know a teacher that put "He was a student in my sports class" on a childs sport report.

TOONGA

Going to have to dig mine out, i've got some good ones.
Not that I should have to dig too hard doing year 12 this year