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Tigger · Post by **Tigger** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:24 pm

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command:
C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should Automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited Memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,Tech Support

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Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Suba · Post by **Suba** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 3:29 pm

Not that I need an upgrade but reading all that I have no intention of doing so .

Mike.

coupe · Post by **coupe** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:49 pm

Bugger
So thats whats wrong with my marriage .. Im still running DOS
and the wifes on XP

BaronVonChickenPants · Post by **BaronVonChickenPants** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:09 am

Don't upgrade, if you go to XP you'll be expected to do at least a dozen things all at once, in your current version everyone knows DOS can only do one thing at a time

Jordan.

redskin · Post by **redskin** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:07 am

Fury · Post by **Fury** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:24 am

Caution to other users:
Although there are many good programs around, such as Wife 1.0 etc extreeme caution must be used.
I had upgraded to Partner v2.0 about 10 years ago and apart from the occational conflict all works better now, than Wife 1.0

I installed "Renovation" a few years ago, but the version number keeps updating automatically and you can't stop it. It has a severe conflict with "Money" which also suffers from the same version problem but in reverse (numbers get less)

To combat the Renovation program, I installed "cleanup" which has worked well in previous editions, as long as you were carefull to uninstall it when it finished.
The new version, 06, has subrutines which cant be uninstalled, such as Yard 1st, Junk 2nd, but does include removal tools, which I find time consuming such as "Tip now" .

I have also recently had the chance to sample a very emotionally envolved executable section of "Cleanup" called 'Storage Scan'. It "scans" all your storage files and if the stored file can't be used almost immediately, it has to go. It has an auto delete , which is on a timer, so it does give you time to detatch your emotional attachment and remove the offending file in a timely fashion.

I have however found tha most of the programs listed above, work extreemly well with Partner 2.0 although "time V1.0" has been deleted accidently and 'Friends' - (current version) are no longer scheduled to run and must be slotted in carefully , so as not to conflict with the above mentioned programs. I did however get a Virus, which came as a "trojan horse " executable called "Exausted", which I havn't found a patch for yet. I think it came when I downloaded 'Renovation' and tends to get worse the more it gets used.
The only other Program that is not very kind , is that nasty 4 letter executable called "WORK" which interfears with everything and the Program "Hobbies 4U" has almost dissappered through lack of use.
I would like to get the Program "Drink More" which has sub meuns such as "Burbon 1.0, Rum v 2 , Beer and other delights - but nearly always seems out of stock, due to the time taken on the other programs.

Someone should make a user manual to balance all these programs as all the main program systems, such as Wife 1, Partner 2 and the like, seem to turn into complete operating systems, with the inclusion of additional sub programs.

Don't upgrade, if you go to XP you'll be expected to do at least a dozen things all at once, in your current version everyone knows DOS can only do one thing at a time

All these programs upgrade themselves over time

Did you check out the fine print when installing your program? I bet it's in there somewhere...

Chris