Just a few tame jokes

YouTube · Post by **El_Freddo** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:36 pm

Alex wrote:two antenna's got married, the wedding was crap, but the reception was great!

alex

What were you on when you wrote this one???

Here's another flight attendant joke.

Once the plane was in the air and starting to level out the captain came over the pa system - "Welcome aboard, i'm Captain Jim and we will be crusing at 35,000 feet. Hope you have a plesant journey".

At this point the Captain relaxed and forgot to turn off the microphone - "F*ck, i could really do with a cuppa tea and a blow job". A flight attendant took off to the co*kpit to tell the captain that the mic was still on, on her rush down to the front of the plane a passanger yelled out "don't forget the cup of tea!"

Post by **Alex** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:55 pm

El_Freddo wrote:What were you on when you wrote this one???

Here's another flight attendant joke.

Once the plane was in the air and starting to level out the captain came over the pa system - "Welcome aboard, i'm Captain Jim and we will be crusing at 35,000 feet. Hope you have a plesant journey".

At this point the Captain relaxed and forgot to turn off the microphone - "F*ck, i could really do with a cuppa tea and a blow job". A flight attendant took off to the co*kpit to tell the captain that the mic was still on, on her rush down to the front of the plane a passanger yelled out "don't forget the cup of tea!"

haha...comedy gold..

you gotta be drunk and watching the footy on a tv with crap reception to fully appreciate the antenna joke..

alex

daveosubi · Post by **daveosubi** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:59 pm

On the aeroplane theme

An irish aeroplane was comming in to land and the pilot informed the passengers that it was going to be a hard landing due to a short runway. The plane lands and hit the brakes really really hard, stuff went flying everywhere inside the plane, the tyres screeched and smoked and it stopped just before the end of the runway.

One of the pilot's turns the other pilot and says "jeez what a short runway" and he replys " yeah but look how wide it is".

Did you hear about the helicopter that crashed into a cemetery in Ireland?
So far they've found 800 bodies.

Post by **Alex** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:33 pm

thats just like the Irish vet that tried to separate a Siamese cat!

alex

YouTube · Post by **El_Freddo** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:50 pm

what's green and smells like miss piggy?

Kermits finger

Gannon · Post by **Gannon** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:41 pm

I hope this isnt gonna be too rude, but i heard this yesterday

What does a womans bumhole and a 9v battery have in common......?

You know its wrong, but you are still tempted to stick your tongue on it!

Another plane one
The next time you find yourself on a plane, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, I urge you to quietly pull your laptop out of your bag, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person next to you can see it), Hit this link

Gannon · Post by **Gannon** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:48 pm

A "heads up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular Bunnings
customers. Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam whilst
out shopping. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good looking 18 or 19 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the car. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Bunnings. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 23rd, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more wallets.

Brumby Boy · Post by **Brumby Boy** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:57 pm

There was these two walrasses rite, the first one says to the second, i think im getting too old, to which the second replys, na your just a bit long in the tooth